~ Are We There Yet?

Are we there yet, are we there yet? I remember saying those exact words on car trips when I was younger. Family vacations meant hours spent in the backseat of the car with 2 brothers and a sister. Long, agonizing hours. Hours of, “He’s on my side”, “Mom, tell him to quit touching me”, “Mom, how much longer?”, “Moooommm, he’s looking at me!”, and on and on it went. My poor, poor mother. The woman had the patience of a saint.

Our drive out to California for Spring break reminded me of those days. I silently kept thinking, ‘are we there yet?”,”how much longer can it possibly be?”, and my favorite, “Holy Mother of God, we’ve been in this damn car for hours!” At one point, I turned to look at KJ and said, “This is one of those trips where you drive and drive and it feels as if you’re not getting anywhere.” He didn’t want to, but he agreed.

From road construction to accidents tying up traffic - from Murphy whining in the back seat to iPhone mishaps - it was the LONGEST car ride in the history of car rides.

Wait. iPhone mishap,you ask? My month old iPhone, may it rest in peace, fell to the ground and shattered. Literally. See the picture? It’s so much worse in person. How did THAT happen, you ask?

We had stopped in Colorado, I think, to fill the car up with gas and let Murphy out to stretch his little legs and go sniff around on the grass at those who came before him. Seriously, all that whining to go potty was nothing but a ruse. All he wanted to do was wander around sniffing. Where I can spend hours shopping, he can spend hours sniffing arond grassy rest stops and dirty gas stations. I think it’s a gift he has. Or maybe it’s a universal dog thing.

Anyway, we had stopped in Colorado, and after getting Murphy out and on his leash, I heard my phone ring, saw “Stinkerbell’ displayed and reached out to grab my phone. The moment I got it in my hand, Murphy decides to take off and as he did, he pulled away from me, his leash bouncing along the pavement . From my other hand, my phone dropped. Face down. Splat. Shatter. I stood looking at it in horror, afraid to pick it up, afraid of what I’d see. Looking down at it, I saw the phrase on the cover - “Keep Calm and Carry On.” Yes, keep calm when your brand new iPhone is lying FACE down on the dirty, greasy, asphalt of a gas station parking lot. At that moment, I knew I should have got the cover that said, “Keep Calm and Drink Wine.” Yes, that one suddenly sounded so much better.

I bent down, picked it up, and turned it over. I think I even threw up a little in my mouth. The face of the phone was shattered. Tiny spider veins going from the middle to every corner, every side, of the phone. I walked up to Murphy, gave him the evil eye and took him to do his thing. After KJ finished gasing up the car, he came over to take Murphy so I could go potty and get coffee. I told him what had just transpired and he stood there giving me the evil eye. The only thing that made me feel even marginally better was when Murphy suddenly did the exact same thing to him. Took off, his leash bouncing along the pavement and KJ standing there with that, “WTH” look on his face. Yeah, I was definitely smirking as I walked away.

Over the next few days, it was clear that I was going to have to get a new phone. Even the protector that I had covering the glass didn’t stop the slivers from sliding over the phone and eventually, it was so bad, the cover was no longer adhering to the face.

Yesterday afternoon, we made a visit to the Apple store on El Paseo. Joe, my new best friend from the Genius Bar, looked sad as I told him my woeful tale. I think even he threw up a little in his mouth. An hour and a half later, I walked out with a new phone and a new cover. According to Joe, while the cover I had was a great inspirational message, it did absolutely nothing when it came to protecting my phone. He switched out the covers and sent me on my merry little way.

Now, I can keep calm, carry on, drink wine, read books, and enjoy the rest of my Spring Break . . . .