Today I decided to give California and the DMV another shot by trying once again to get my California drivers license. Plus, if I wait much longer, my Nebraska license will expire and I'll have to not only take the written test, but I'll also have to take the driving test and the way the people who work the DMV are, who the hell knows what kind of wackadoo I'd be lucky enough to drive with.
The first time I tried to get my license, I sat in the DMV and waited for 2 hours before my number was called. When I finally got up to the counter, I handed the lady my filled out paperwork and my VALID Nebraska drivers license. I was then told I needed my birth certificate. I asked the lady if my Nebraska license, which is valid, isn’t enough ID for them. She said no. Evidently, living in the state of California, I now have to prove who I am.
Now, it took me three trips to the DMV to get California plates on my car and even then, I came home so frustrated and near tears, that I called KJ and said, “I’m done. I’m packing my shit and moving home.” I really should have known that it would also take 3 trips to get my license.
My first stop this morning was the salon to get my hair cut; I wanted to at least have a decent picture on my license. That done, I drove to the DMV and got there about 12:30ish. My number was G130 and as I sat down, they had just called G107. Fabulous....another long wait at the DMV. After waiting close to an hour, they call my nunber.....G130 now being served at window # 8. I jumped up, anxious to take my test and get it done and over with.
I make my way up to the window and the lady asked how she could help me. The conversation went something like this . . .
DMV lady: What can I do for you?
Me: I need to take the written drivers test.
DMV lady: Is this your first California license?
Me: Yes (and then I proceed to hand her the paperwork, my VALID Nebraska drivers license and my birth certificate)
DMV lady: (looks at birth certificate - which I was told I needed after trying to get my license the FIRST time - then looks at Nebraska license) You're married?
Me: umm, yes (nonchalantly waving wedding ring in the air)
DMV lady: Will you be using your married name on your drivers license?
Me: (thinking to myself, DUH but politely said) Yes, doesn't everyone?
DMV lady: I need to see your marriage certificate.
Me: Excuse me? First I had to prove who I was by bringing my birth certificate and now I have to prove that I'm married?
DMV lady: If you're using your married name on your license, I need to see official documentation that you're married.
Me: My Nebraska license has my married name on it, is that not 'official' enough for you?
DMV lady: No
Me: I have my Social Security card with me; it also has my married name on it.
DMV lady: That is not official documentation
Me: This is the 2nd time I've tried to get my license. The first time I was here, I was told I needed to come back with my birth certificate to prove who I was. Now you're telling me I have to prove that I'm married. Why was I not told this the first time I was here?
DMV lady: I don't know but I can't help you until I see official documentation.
Me: (muttering as I walk away) And people wonder why the state of California is so fucked up.
After my experience with the California DMV, I can now see why some wackadoo’s go postal. It’s now obvious to me why the state of California is broke and in such disarray. Trust me when I say that California might be a nice place to visit but it’s certainly not a place you want to live.
I think I'll just keep my Nebraska license and call it good.
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