~ Empty Nesters?

Every now and then, someone will ask the question, “What’s it like to be empty- nesting?” My reply is always the same ~ It’s not empy-nesting as long as their crap is in your garage. In our case, it’s the garage, two closets and a couple of dresser drawers.

With Ryan starting his new job today and being relatively settled into his new bachelor pad, KJ decided it was maybe time to hand over some of his ‘important documents.’ You know the ones I’m talking about ~ the ones we keep for them so they don’t get lost. The passport, the Social Security card, the birth certificate, etc. My plan was to hold these things hostage, thinking that as long as I had them, the kids would eventually have to come get them. Evidently, it doesn’t work that way. Go figure.

So, last night I got out the lock box and started going through what I needed to send to Ryan. I got out an envelope, put his name on the front and in the corner, on the bottom, I wrote, “Important Documents.” Twenty-three years old and you’d think the kid was still in grade school. I pulled out his passport and his Social Security card. I’m holding on to his Baptism records but I sent him his birth certificate. I came across his immunization records so I tossed those in there, too. I sent him his savings bonds because they are his and he’s now free to do what he wants with them.

Then, I came across a little card that didn’t look familiar to me. I picked it up and stared at it in horror. It was the card that boys get when they turn 18 and have to sign up for the ‘selective service.’ I wondered if I could trash it and then say it must have gotten lost in the move. However, figuring that was probably some kind of federal offense, I immediately nixed that idea. My mind started thinking of ways I could dispose of the card, all of them ways that would more than likely land me in prison. Seeing as how I’m hardly the prison type, I grudgingly put the card in the envelope. Besides, even if I did ‘accidentally' lose it (on purpose), they have his name and information on file. *sighs*

KJ leaves early Wednesday morning for his fishing trip in Canada. He’ll stop in Omaha and will spend the night with Ryan on Thursday before continuing on to Canada. He’ll hand over to Ryan his envelope of ‘Important Documents’ .

But you know that other stuff I still have that belongs to the kids? It’s in the garage, two closets and a couple of dresser drawers. I think I’ll hold that stuff hostage; someday they’re gonna want it and they’ll have to come here to get it.

Empty nesters? As long as I have their crap in the garage, two closets and a couple of dresser drawers, I won’t ever know the definition of ‘empty nesters.’