Snowplows ~ KJ and I getting stuck behind not one, but TWO snow plows on Christmas Eve. Added 20 minutes or so to our already long drive. Omaha is the only place I know of where it takes two snow plows to clear one side of the road.
The Omaha Blizzard of ‘09 ~ it took KJ and Ryan 2.5 hours to dig us out of the snow on Christmas morning so we could make it to KJ’s parents house. I can’t remember the last time Omaha had so much snow in just one snowfall.
Ryan Speaking Chinese ~ We had Christmas Eve dinner at P F Changs and when Ryan read the fortune in his fortune cookie, he read the “Chinese” version. If I hadn’t given birth to him, I would have seriously questioned his ethnicity. Had KJ, Lyns and I laughing so hard, I was crying.
Copper still not knowing that as a dog, he has to potty OUTSIDE ~ When I got up on Christmas Eve, I immediately put the dogs out (Charlie, who is ours/Lynsays and Copper, who belongs to our friends whose house we were staying at). In the 20 minutes (yes, really) it took me to get Copper to go out (evidently, according to Victoria, he’s VERY stubborn - ya think???) Charlie had already gone out TWICE. Totally annoyed and frustrated, I thought I’d run downstairs and make Lynsay’s bed while giving Copper a few more minutes to figure out that he did indeed need to go out. In the few minutes that it took me to run downstairs and come back up, Copper decided to do his duty on the carpet by the back door. Damn dog. . . . . .
Dolls & My MIL ~ My mother-in-law collects dolls and my nieces decided to ‘diversify’ her collection. The look on her face and what she said when she opened the last one . . . priceless.
Aunt Mickey on g’mas new fangled excercise contraption ~ I’m a sucker when it comes to my kids and my nieces. So, when they said, “Hey Aunt Mickey, try out grandma’s new exercise thingee”, I said sure. And I was still sober. That was my first mistake. Well, it’s one of those things where you get down on the contraption and put your knees in these little black kneepad looking things. (I can see the smirks on all of your faces) Then you reach across for the handlebars and start swinging your hips back and forth. I’m sure you’re all getting the visual. I realized I wasn’t moving correctly when my sister-in-law said, “Here, let me help you” and proceeded to give me a little push, causing my hips to start swinging sideways. After a few seconds, I was finally getting the hang of it and enjoying the ride. One of the girls then told me to get up so she could adjust the ‘kneepads’ so when I moved, it would work on my inner thighs. Let me just say that in this position, you are definitely not feeling, nor looking, very ladylike. Bent way over with my butt up in the air ~ that was my second mistake. If my neice posts those pics on Facebook, I’ll seriously have to disown her.
The Christmas . . . Moose ~ On the first day of our drive to Omaha, we left Cali pretty early (6:30am) and therefore got pretty far before we stopped for the night ... @ 11:30pm. The stretch of road we were driving was a 2-lane highway that we would normally be on during the day. Not having driven it at night, we weren’t sure what kind of wildlife we would encounter so KJ had said we would need to keep an eye out for any deer that decided to bound across the road like they did on our last drive home through Colorado. He looks down for some reason and I looked up and said, “Hmm, I don’t think that’s supposed to be there.” He looks up and there, in the middle of the road, was what looked like a deer on steroids. The sucker was huge and it was just standing there in the middle of the road looking all defiant with the look that said, “Yeah, you can hit me but when you do, I’ll really f*@* up your car.” With that, he took his time moving his huge self out of the way. We’re thinking it was an elk but whatever it was, we decided it was time to stop for the night and get a room.
Lynsay’s Blonde Moment ~ While out with Lyns one night, she turned her blinker on and noticed (for the first time) that the indicator light also blinked on her sideview mirror. “Wow!”, she exlaimed, “I didn’t know it did that!”
She’s had the car for 2.5 years. Bless her heart.
The Windshield “Oops” ~ Again, on the first day of driving to Omaha, a truck passed us and kicked up a rock that put a chip on the windshield on the passenger side. In what seemed like slowmotion, while I watched in horror, a thin crack began to make its way right across the windshield. Since KJ was driving, there were a few choice words and then a slight shrug of the shoulders.
Now, had I been driving, there would have been a 15 minute lecture on how I had to have been following to close for something like that to have happened and then 30 minutes of a few choice words. No shrug of the shoulders would have been seen! And this is why I rarely offer to help with the driving.
New Year’s Eve Boobage ~ This year, instead of 5 couples celebrating, it was 2. So, with only the 4 of us, Beth and I decided we’d go out and have a nice dinner. We had dinner at Johnny’s Italian Steak House at Village Pointe, had a wonderful time and way too much fabulous food. After dinner, we went somewhere we haven’t been in 23 years on a New Year’s Eve. We went to the bar. For the first time in 23 years, KJ and I were at a bar on New Year’s Eve. Talk about weird. About 10pm, business started picking up and all the 20-something crowd started to arrive. The girls were wearing dresses that were cut down to their belly buttons and barely covered their butts. Everywhere we looked, some girl had her girls pushed up and out of her wonderbra! Talk about feeling totally under-dressed. When we left (about 11pm), the four of us got out to the sidewalk and I said...”WAIT!!” I proceeded to pull my shirt down, push the girls together and up and said, “Okay, I’m now properly attired, we can go back in!” KJ just shook his head, Beth was bent over at the knees, laughing so hard I thought she was gonna pee her pants and Kevin said, “OMG, I’m scarred for life!”
I’m fairly certain that there were more grins and giggles during the two weeks we were there, but these were the most memorable. My son talking Chinese and my daughter having blonde moments ~ priceless. Oh, and scarring my 'second husband' for life.
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