Okay, not really. But, after applying for a simple little Para position with the school district, one would think I was applying for a top secret position at NASA. Or the CIA. Or even the Secret Service.
Sometime in September I filled out an online application with one of the school districts, even going so far as to taking a typing test. Really? Typing?
About six weeks after I filled out the application I got a phone call from the district asking me to come in and take a written exam. A written exam? For a para job? Seriously?
The appointed date arrives and off I go like a kid on her first day of school. Written test? Really??? I get there and before I go back to take the exam, I ask the girl if I’m there for the position I applied for. I mean really, I would have hated to waste her time and mine only to find out that someone messed up and I’m taking a written exam for something other than a Para job. Her reply? “Honey, you wouldn’t be here if you weren’t qualified for the job you applied for.” Alrighty then!
She takes me back to a conference room to get the testing started. We sit down and she slides this ‘packet’ across the table and starts giving me instructions as I’m asking questions. She tells me that she can tell that I’m ‘overwhelmed’ (ya think?)and that the test is just like the exit exam I took when I graduated from high school. I said, “Oh honey, I graduated 30 years ago, there was no such thing as an exit exam.” She said, “Oh, well, it’s just like the ACT test.” I said, “If it was just like taking the ACT, you’d be letting me use a calculator!”
She offers me this cute little chuckle, as if she were saying, ‘Well bless your heart’, finishes giving me instructions and after telling me that I’ll have 3 hours to take the test, she leaves. 3 hours???? Holy mother!!
The testing begins and I browse through the ‘packet’. Three sections and 110 questions. The first section is English (I can ace this one), the second section is Math (oh hell, I’m screwed) and the the third section is problem solving in the classroom. Two sections out of three....hmmm.
After taking the test, passing two sections out of three (I flunked Math) and then re-taking the Math again (which I passed)....taking an ‘oral’ test and passing that (all this for a Para job, huh?), I’m now number 4 on the list. Which means I’ll eventually get a phone call for an interview. After everything I went through, I’m going to be real pissy if I never get that phone call.
All this for a Para job?
I’m in serious need of Therapy . . .
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