Being a parent is probably the hardest job there ever was. No, I’m not just now coming to that conclusion. However, after texting back and forth tonight with one of my niece’s, it hit me that while I’m usually the one that the girls come to when they’re hurt, stressed or just need to vent, rant and rave, I don’t always have the answers they’re looking for and I don’t always tell them what they want to hear. I tell them the truth and sometimes the truth isn’t what they want to hear.
After these conversations with one of the girls, one part of me wants to do whatever I can to take away the pain, wipe away the tears and mend the broken heart. One part of me usually ends up wanting to go into bad-ass mode and drop kick the boy who put another crack in her heart. And yet another part of me wants to wrap them up tightly in a cocoon and protect them from harm; keeping them all locked in their rooms until they’re at least.....35.
As a parent, I know that I can’t do that. As a woman, I know that whatever heartbreak we experience as a teenage girl usually becomes a life lesson. Granted, that life lesson usually takes us a while to learn, but in the end, when we’re a little older (like, when we’re moms) the light goes on and we finally ‘get it.’
I also know (from experience, of course) that from the age of 15 to 20, my parents knew absolutely nothing about raising a teenager. I mean seriously, how could they? Had they ever really been a teenager? Did I really care that there were four of us and they had raised us all?
As a parent, looking back, I realize that my parents knew a lot more than I gave them credit for and the very same things that they asked of me is exactly what I’ve asked of my own kids. As a parent, I realize the importance of that phone call letting someone know you’ll be late. As a parent, I realize that when my dad gave me advice, it was advice he was giving out of... you guessed it, experience.
Wow...it really does come full circle.
So . . . to Lynsay, Kristin, Erin and Ash (and yes, my nieces are still my girls) . . . . never forget that you have your entire life ahead of you. Always remember that at the end of the day if you’ve done one thing that made a difference, one thing that mattered ~ it was a good day. Growing up is hard, but I promise you this ~ you’ll get through it and one day, you’ll look back and realize that everything your parents did or said wasn’t because they were trying to be the meanest parent on the block. It was because as parents, our children (that means you) are our world. You brighten our days with your smile and you light our hearts just by being here. Whether it’s because we see a little bit of ourselves in you or recognize the same stubborn streak that we had, what we do and what we say is done out of pure love. A love so deep, so unconditional, that we want to do whatever we possibly can to protect you, to keep you from harm. To keep you safe.
And while watching you grow up is bittersweet and you continue to keep us in awe and wonder, you’re still our little girls. Whether you’re a daddy’s girl or a momma’s girl, letting you go to spread your wings is one of the hardest things we’ll ever do.
So while you’re chomping at the bit to get out and be on your own, don’t forget to turn around and give us a smile and a big thumbs up. While we may know that you’re more than ready, it’s still not an easy thing.
Some quotes and tidbits to keep for future reference ~
Never love a love that hurts and never hurt a love that loves.
“The only person you are destined to be is the person you decide to be.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sometimes, the best way to figure out who you are is to get to that place where you don’t have to be anything else.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
“Chin up. Shoulders back. Walk proud. Strut a little. Don’t lick your wounds, celebrate them. The scars you bear are signs of a competitor. You’re in a lion fight. Just because you didn’t win doesn’t mean you don’t know how to roar.”
~ Grey’s Anatomy
“There’s a luggage limit for every passenger on a flight. The same rules apply to your life. You must eliminate some baggage before you can fly.”
~ Rosalind Johnson
“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.”
~ Wayne Dyer
Sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, give someone, do for someone, or be there for someone, it will never be enough. And you will have to decide if it is worth it to keep throwing your heart at their feet so they can walk all over it one more time....
“In twenty years, you will be more disappointed by what you didn’t do than by what you did.”
~ Mark Twain
Giving up doesn’t always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go.
and my favorite . . .
“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.”
~ Audrey Hepburn
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