~ Creepy Crawlies

I have a serious phobia when it comes to creepy crawlies and critters. The one phobia that really gives me the heebie jeebies......spiders. Now, you would think that growing up in Oklahoma with it's plethora of tarantulas, big hairy spiders wouldn't creep me out. Wrong!

This is what California has ~ it’s called a Sun Spider and the sight of one can have me screaming like a little girl at a circus freak show. Besides the fact that they are loaded with all kinds of creepy and ick, they’re the size of a freaking Buick!

A few weeks ago, I walked out into the garage to toss some trash in the garbage can. There, on the garage floor was one of these bad boys. I totally freaked, went screaming into the house for KJ, dragged his butt out there and what does he do? Stares at it and says, “Cool. Wow, it’s big.” Cool?? What the hell was so cool about it? Big, he says?? The sucker was as big as my SUV. Okay, so maybe not THAT big, but you get my point.

When I went to dinner a few nights later with Linda, I’m telling her about this spider. “COOL” she says. (She’s a total spider freak ~ go figure) Well hell, I want to know what is so cool and fascinating about this spider that is not only a beast of a spider but it’s ugly as hell!!! She said to me, “Was it dead?” Well, duh!! Thank God my favorite person had just been to the house a few days before ~ my bug guy! God, I love that man!! The way he swaggers around the outside of the house with his chemicals and sprayer. (Sorry, got a little carried away) Then she says the worst thing she could possibly say....’That was probably just the skin (yeah, skin like a snake) and the spider is probably still in the garage.’

Well, isn’t she just a ray of freakin’ sunshine???

So, last night I go out to the garage to again put trash in the garbage can. Are we starting to see a pattern here? Like maybe I’m the one always taking out the trash? Anyway, I flip the light on and there, sitting in front of the garbage can was this spider. Sitting there like he was some kind of garbage can guardian. *RME’s*

Holy Mother of God!!! I went running back into the house and then I remembered what Linda told me about how they shed their skin. Crap!! So, out I go again, armed with something to smash it with. A shovel. Hey, I don’t know what you use your shovels for, but me? I now use mine, which, by the way, is kept right next to the door, to kill the spiders and the scorpions.

So, I sneak over to this spider and it’s not moving so it must be dead. But, I can’t tell if it’s DEAD or if it’s the skin. For all I know, the damn thing is slinking around out in the garage trying to figure out how to get in the house.

I swear, if it’s not the scorpions, it’s the spiders. Either way, I’m sleeping with my shovel tonight!