~ Home

It’s Saturday morning on October 3rd and I’m sitting in the Denver airport waiting for my flight back to California. I haven’t been home since September 14th and I feel like I’ve been gone forever but it’s only been a few weeks. As I write this, Michael Bubles song, “Home” keeps going through my head . . .

I’m tired. Exhausted, really. Physically, emotionally, and mentally tired. While I enjoyed being in Oklahoma, it certainly wasn’t a pleasure trip. Going to see the kids in Omaha and spending time with them was so good for my heart but even that was rough at the beginning. One never enjoys telling their kids that a grandparent is ill and having to tell Ryan and Lynsay about their beloved Mimi was difficult at best. Seriously, how do you tell your kids that their Mimi not only has lung cancer but has a tumor in her brain? It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that a brain tumor isn’t a good thing and the realization of that hit Lynsay pretty hard.

I’m amazed that I was able to keep it together while telling them everything that’s going on. I’m shocked actually, that I have yet to break down. Trust me, at this point all I want to do is rant and rave and throw a hissy fit in true Cruella fashion. But I can’t. I couldn’t in front of my mom and I definitely couldn’t in front of my kids. But I can pretty much guarantee that when my plane lands in California and I see KJ, the tears will flow.

I never thought I’d say this, but I’ve missed California. I’ve missed my boys and I want to go home.

Just a few more hours . . . .